A little rant

As I write this, I am tired. I went for a drink with a friend yesterday, which turned quickly into 6 drinks, which were doubles. Now this didn't get me drunk, but it did mean I needed a really big wee, but didn't realise this until I was already on the tube, where there are no loos due to terrorists or something. So I had to wait until I got on the train at Stratford, which was delayed by twelve minutes, and when I got on there I was in one of the carriages that isn't even vaguely close to loo. So I had to hold it in until I got home. Bad times.

And then when I got home I found the house filled with people who should have been asleep a few hours ago because they have school in the morning (my sister), people I don't like (my sister's boyfriend), and people I don't know (his mate).

This would have been fine were it not for the fact that one of them had taken a huge dump and hadn't flushed it, but of course none of them admitted to it, and carried on denying it to the point that I yelled "was it the cunting house then? Did the house do a shit?". Then they all looked at me like I might be crazy.

And they'd bought a lot of pizza. Again, I wouldn't mind this but they hadn't eaten a lot of it, so the kitchen, living room and dining room all stank of cheese and meat. Which as a vegan I find objectionable. Had they at least paid for it themselves? No, they'd used the emergency food fund that mum had left us for while she's away. Which is now down to £70.33. Less than half of what was there. And it's only Thursday of week one, and that money's supposed to last two weeks. Ridiculous.

So I went to bed, very politely asking them to "please do the washing up". To which they all responded with a look that would only have been appropriate if I'd said "please sodomise the Pope". It seemed fair to me, I mean I'd not eaten anything at home (breakfast, lunch and dinner were all eaten at work), but apparently washing up is some kind of alien concept to grubby emo children...

And when I went to bed, were they quiet? Were they fuck. How three people can make so much noise is beyond me. When I can hear every single word that the people on Jackass are saying, the TV is too loud. The noise finally stopped at around half twelve, but then an awful lot of very loud talking betwixt my sister and her boyfriend kicked off around one, just as I was about to nod off. And carried on until just before four. Fucking great.

So basically I got about two hours sleep. And then had to sit next to a red faced, fat arsed woman on the train who smelt like soup. And was reading the Daily Express, which is essentially the Princess Diana conspiracy newsletter. Basically, this woman is everything I despise. And she kept coughing, without covering her mouth.

The only way to deal with this kind of shitty string of events is killer tunes. My angry-pants playlist is as follows:

1. We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed - Los Campesinos! (because "there is no fucking future"
2. Maladjusted - Sick Of It All (because it's really angry)
3. Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths (because I'm quite miserable now, so heaven probably does know)
4. Pistol Grip Pump - Rage Against The Machine (because it's about shooting people who mess with your "shit")
5. Where's Da G's - Dizzee Rascal ft. UGK (because I'm clearly a rapper)
6. I Don't Wanna Hear It - Minor Threat (because it's a fitting climax)
7. Absentee - Emmy the Great (because it calms me right down)
8. Wild Blue Milk - Slow Club (because it keeps me calm)
9. Famous Blue Raincoat - Leonard Cohen (because it just makes me sad)
10. Adagio For Strings - Samuel Barber (because it makes me sadder)
11. Pale Blue Eyes - Velvet Underground (because it's the single most beautiful song ever penned)

After listening to that, I felt fine :)